Being a "Punctuated" Christian?

I have been asking God lately why am I always such an unhappy person. I am secure of His love for me and have seen how He helped me work out the "kinks" in my life, not only in my life but the lives of my loved ones like my mum and people around me. Then why am I still such an unhappy person? Do I make the life of people around me insufferable?

I started to recall the word used by a visiting lecturer from UK, a friend of Dr May Ling. (BTW, heard from Maurice last night that Dr May is not doing well at all...in a hospice now....I didn't know how to react...maybe death will really be a release for her...), that of being a "punctuated Christian".

What does it mean? Being a Christian whose life is always full of question marks, comma, full-stop, exclamation marks? This visiting lecturer has a good career track record - trained in law, worked for UN, studied in some prestigious university etc but she quit it all to pursue a PHD in theology and become A. Prof in a bible college...

Last night stayed up to read the book of Eccelesiastes. Came across a line which I thought is quite provoking:

"Do not be overrighteous,
neither be overwise-
why destroy yourself?"
- Ecc 7:16

Is that why Dr May says maybe all theologians are cursed? Hmmm...wonder if I should continue with my studies at TCA...

Back to my question - why am I always unhappy? Is it because I am never contented with what I have? I am always chasing that elusive dream called my "destiny" in Christ and unhappy that there are so many hindrances that prevent me from pursuing that "destiny" in Christ? Is there such a thing as specific destiny? Aren't all Christians called to a common destiny?

Blah...

My study bible summarises the reflection of Solomon in Ecclesiastes:

" ...faith teaches him that God has ordered all things according to his own purposes and that man's role is to accept these, including his own limitations, as God's appointments. Men, therefore, should be patient and enjoy life as God gives. He should know his own limitations and not vex himself with unrealistic expectations..."

Maybe should learn to accept my limitations. And be patient. And eat, drink and enjoy the life God has given me. And whatsoever my hands find to do, to do it with all my might....